The adat merisik (asking ceremony, or more literally 'spying custom') is the traditional Malay system for arranging marriages. When it is time for a young man to get married, his family will look around to identify a number of potential brides. Nowadays, the man might suggest to his family who he would like them to consider, and it may be that a romantic link already exists between the man and woman. Having decided upon one particular woman, the merisik, or investigation process, takes place. For this ceremony one or more representatives (wakil) of the man's family pay a friendly visit to the family of the woman whom they have in mind as his potential bride. The visit is purely for the purpose of further investigation, and it gives the visitors the chance to see the woman. A hint will be given to her parents regarding the purpose of the visit, and their reaction will be assessed. The woman's parents may also give the visitors some idea as to whether or not their daughter would be interested in the match. The merisik does not constitute a formal proposal. Following the visit both sides can begin to think more seriously about the possibility or otherwise of a marriage. It is possible that no progress may take place, and the man's parents or representatives will then look for another possible bride.
The engagement custom will be held when the woman parents accept the representative(wakil) of the man's family.The date of marriage contract(akad nikah) will be discuss in engagement custom.Usually the adat bertunang (engagement custom) is normally held at the bride's home.A date will be choose to celebrate the akad nikah (marriage contract) ceremony.
3)Marriage contract(Akad nikah)
A Malay wedding proper begins with the akad nikah (marriage contract) ceremony. The groom signs the marriage contract with the tok Kadi in front of witness(saksi) and agrees to provide the bride with a mas kahwin (marriage gold).The marriage gold will be different with other place. The contract signing is done before a religious official and is accompanied by prayer.
The bersanding (enthronement) ceremony begins with the groom's procession with friends, relatives, musicians and people waving bunga manggar (palm blossom) to meet the bride.Each guest will receive a bunga telur (egg flower), a decorated egg with a fabric flower, as a sign of fertility. The couple are considered royalty for the day, and so various royal customs are performed for them, including musicians playing court music and 'bodyguards' performing a display of pencak silat(traditional Malay martial arts).The couple will sit on decorated chair,and the photography session will be held.After the bersanding ceremony, the wedded couple and their guests attend a celebratory feast called the makan beradab (formal meal). This involves the bride and groom feeding each other sweetened rice. The celebrations are concluded by posing for family photographs.